For a young man, I have an extensive history with old vehicles…not the refurbished diamonds of a golden era type, but the old vehicles that even new were considered bargain types. As a child, I distinctly remember the winter ride to school, snow whirling in my lap, cold air on my face due to the absence of a window. There were old trucks, the occasional turn of the key without the accompanying turn of the engine. A light-hearted demeanor is required when faced with a ride that won’t roll. Humility cultivated by stepping out of a sputtering steed to a school lawn filled with classmates. It was a blessing, from that early age, to not be reliant on the quality of a possession for worth or security. It all works out. Momentary inconvenience, given time and distance, grew in my mind to provide a clearer perception that I was not what my parents drove.

Today, if I have a solo requirement of work or errand, I drive a ’99 Honda accord. The distinct clicking that accompanies right hand turns testifies to its road worthiness. $1,000 worth of metal and rubber propelling me towards my intentions day after day. The radio speaks to a time before the iPhone and roaming internet access. Upon arrival at each destination, I am greeted with the feeling of relief that can only come from the roll of a dice, thanking the gods of the road for granting me one more trip without a breakdown. The purr of inanimate life from beneath the hood is temporary and precious, a reminder that nothing in this world last forever.

I will eventually buy a newer car, replacing one tool with another, but I hope to never escape the lesson that my shitty car has taught me. No matter what I drive, I gain no value and lose no worth. The illusion that you are what you drive erased and replaced with the truth that you can be something more. You can choose your own perception of your circumstance, choose to see the blessings or the curse. You are free to craft the light in which you see your own life. As a painter paints a picture you to are free to frame yourself however you like. I choose to drive a shitty car…for now.